I came across some photos from when I was on the tennis team in high school. My bff (well, sort of bff now) and I were tennis partners and we got to take photos together. It got me to thinking about things. All throughout high school, we were joined at the hip. However, towards the end of senior year we started to drift apart. I was focused on getting decent grades, figure out what was going on with me (it was later determine that I have bipolar disorder) and trying to prepare for going to university. She started to party a lot and started dabbling in drugs and alcohol. By freshman year it got to a point where she was doing herself a lot of harm. I expressed my concerns, but she didn’t listen. She had a miscarriage, and for a while after that we didn’t talk. More recently, we started sort of talking again. I went to her son’s second birthday. Although she’s struggling as a single parent, she seems to be on the right track. Her son is her world, and I’m happy that she straightened herself out for him.
The thing is though, I’ve been thing about the term “best friend.” I don’t know if we are that now. For a long time we didn’t talk, mainly because I was tired of being the one that always called to see how things were. She still does that now. I know that her schedule is busy, but I wish she would take the time to send me a text first instead of me all of the time. She knows I don’t know her schedule and I don’t want to intrude on her when she’s busy. Also, it would just let me know that she’s willing to put in some effort on our relationship. I’ve been thinking about whether I still see her as my best friend. A part of me thinks that I’m still holding because we’ve known each other for almost 10 years and that in reality we are simply acquaintances now. I remember writing in her senior year book that I hope that we would never be the type of friends that only call each other once a year. However, it seems that we’ve become just that. Will we ever be as close as we once were despite the paths we’ve taken?